2020 has been a year of misfortunes. From wildfires to protests to a global pandemic, people all over the world are suffering. Many are having trouble making ends meet, some are experiencing physical health deterioration, and some are going through intense mental stress-- with fear, anxiety, sadness, and depression. These are all normal responses to what the world is facing today. This pandemic is forcing many people lose their jobs, fall sick, and make changes on their daily lives. On top of that, everyone is faced with uncertainty.

There are many ways to cope with mental stress, especially during the time of isolation. Here are some pieces of advice to help you:
1. You must first acknowledge the presence of mental stress. Some people have trouble admitting to themselves that they are mentally unstable. Turning a blind eye to it will only make things worse.
2. Once you accept that you are experiencing this stress, you must then understand yourself and your needs. Disconnect yourself from the world and listen to yourself. For a moment, free your mind from all that troubles you and just take deep breaths. Once you discover what you want to do, do it. It doesn't have to be something big, it just has to be something you like-- something that reconnects you to yourself. It can be as big as quitting your job or something as little as baking bread at midnight.
3. Once you're calm, organize your thoughts. Don't think about everything at once. When you find yourself drowning in thoughts, write them down. Write them all down. When you're done, classify them: Is it necessary? Does it make sense? Will it help you? When your thoughts are organized, go through them one by one. This way, you will reduce all the burden and focus on one problem at a time.
4. Seek help. If you feel like you still have too much going on despite doing all these things, it's time to seek help. You can ask help from a friend, a family member, a significant other, or a medical professional. Do not be afraid to seek assistance. This pandemic is hard for everyone, and everyone needs all the help he/she can get.
5. Accept that there will be bad days. Go easy on yourself and to everyone around you.

This year has been one of the most eventful years of my life. I graduated college, got a job, lost some friends, gained new ones, retained relationships, lost a loved one, reached old goals, set new standards, and most importantly, learned new lessons.

2017 has shaped me to become someone I’ve only dreamt of being before. I went over my entire blog and it's surreal to see that my first entries were about my struggles as a sixteen-year-old high school girl. It's crazy to think that I used to worry so much about things that don't even bother me today. I want to use this opportunity to thank my 16-year-old self for coming up with this blog and giving me something to come back to. To allow me to see how much I've grown in the past five years. This year, I learned a lot of things, and I'm going to let you in on some of them.
Another thing, I learned that I shouldn't overanalyze relationships and situations, and let things happen as they do. I shouldn't think so much about my actions, because being open and honest and completely true to the person I'm with is the most important foundation of our relationship. I (and you) can't build a relationship stationed on false personalities. So, in any relationship, act the way you normally would, talk the way you usually would, and just be you.

2017 has also taught me to accept my mistakes and never let pride get in the way. This is a tricky lesson to put into action, because I used to never apologize. However, I realized that a healthy relationship means acting the way you expect to be treated. And if I wanted him to apologize for his mistakes, I should simultaneously seek forgiveness for mine. Instead of waiting for the other to fix whatever you're going through, act on your own will, and you'll not only save your relationship, but save time as well.


3. On Career and Success

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
Millennials are known (and accused) to be very idealistic. I'm guilty of this accusation because I used to think that I should have a solid path laid out in front of me. And that I should only follow that path, no turns, no swerves, just straight to my ultimate goal.

2017 has taught me that life will not always go according to my plan. In the path I set out for myself, it will give my lefts and rights and even u-turns. I learned to accept that. Sometimes these swerves will lead us to failures, but failures will turn us into stronger people.

Originally, I didn't want to be in the industry I'm working for now. But I chose to test my capabilities and take the opportunity handed to me. And so far, it's one of the best decisions I've made. I learned that just because it's not the opportunity I wanted, it's an opportunity nevertheless-- An opportunity to grow, to learn, to create foundations, to set goals and standards, to improve myself.

2017 taught me that while it's great to be idealistic, it's also okay (healthy, even) to stray from the path I made for myself, and even fail along the way. I learned that success does not have a deadline. Even when people your age are more successful than you are, it doesn't mean you will never be. It only means that they navigated their paths faster than you did, but life is not a race, and you're free to navigate at your own pace.


4. On Relationships
Sadly, not everyone will stay in your life. Be it your lover, your friends, family, even. Not everyone will understand you. And not everyone is healthy for you.

2017 taught me that just because your relationships have been going on for years does not mean it's right. Sometimes, God removes people from your life not because He wants you to be sad, but because He knows what's best for you, and it's not these people. When you think about it that way, it's much easier to accept that these people are not with you anymore because God didn't want them to be.

This year has taught me that it's healthy to let people go. It's okay to retain only the people who are good for you mentally and emotionally. The next time you question why these people left, think about what will happen if you keep hanging out with them in the long run. I'm sure you'll come up with a realization.


5. On Moving Forward
It's not true that to move forward is to never look back.

2017 has taught me that looking back can actually help me move further. Looking back at your life, at your mistakes, your victories, your happiness and sadness means that you acknowledge that these things happened in your life. If you like what you felt at one point, you'd know what to do in the future to feel that again, or even surpass it. If you didn't like what happened, you'd know what not to do to avoid feeling the same way.

Life does not slow down for anyone. And whether we all like it or not, we must move forward. And even when we leave things and people behind, let's not forget that they were all parts of our lives for once. So don't ever forget them.

Move forward writing your story not with blank pages, but with colorful, scratched, and even torn up pieces.

Happy New Year!

I was never able to blog religiously. I always say I would, but I never could. I've come to realize that it's because writing can't be scheduled. Blurting out your feelings doesn't have to be once every Tuesday. Or every 5:00 in the afternoon. You just can't put a timeframe for when you're gonna feel something worth writing about. You just can't set a day for when you can't tell people anything and you have to write everything down.

Well, today is one of those days for me.

I've been very vocal about never fully feeling good about myself. I think it's unfair how people expect me to always be okay with myself simply because they think I'm pretty. Everyone has the right to feel insecure, and insecurity is NOT related to how well you look or how socially acceptable your physical appearance is. You can feel insecure regardless of what you look like. And I've always had low self esteem. It's not something I can work on. It's not something I can fix just because someone says I should. And I don't think I can do something about it.

But that's okay. Insecurity is a normal human emotion. I know that I shouldn't stress about something I can't control. I should stop giving myself such a hard time just because I don't like what I see in the mirror most days. And it's not everyday that I feel bad about myself. Sometimes they just get out of hand. I'm gonna let you in on a secret. If you ever see me on instagram you'd notice how my posts always decrease in number. It's because every time I feel insecure, I remove one selfie. I don't know but for some insane reason I feel like I'm doing myself a favor. Today, I deleted eight photos of myself. Yes, today is one of the worst days. I don't think I even have photos left to delete. And this is why I'm writing.

I try so hard to make others feel good because I can't do it for myself. I try so hard not to make other people feel bad about themselves because I know what it feels to act like you're okay with everything even when you're not. Some people will probably say I'm overacting. I probably am. I might read this tomorrow and cringe at what I'm saying. But what matters is now. What I'm feeling now. What I'm bound to feel again some time. And every time I feel insecure, I want to go back to this day. I want to remember that insecurity is a normal human emotion. Insecurity will always come. It will always bother me. And I can choose one of two options. I can either sulk and rant or I can own it. I can use those insecurities as motivation. Today, I did both. Today is the day I promise myself that I will do whatever it takes to make me feel better. Today is the day I start giving myself compliments because I don't want to expect it from anyone.

Today is one of those days. But it is also the day I change.

I'm just starting something new for my blog, where I can share the music I listen to every now and then. I don't know why I only thought of it now, but better late than never! Tbh, I just really can't sleep right now and I'm sick of writing school papers, and these are the songs that are on repeat.

Anyway, my favorite genre is indie or alternative, but honestly, I listen to whatever music I want depending on my current mood, and my current preference. This week's playlist consists of:

(Btw you can click the title and it will link you to the spotify page of the songs/album)


1. Chaos and The Calm - James Bay
- I was actually listening to the Acoustic Chill playlist in Spotify and the acoustic version of Craving by James Bay played, and I really liked it. So I listened to the entire album, and I instantly loved it. My favorites are Scars and Need the Sun to Break! 

2. Million Reasons - Lady Gaga
- It's refreshing to see something, uh, normal for Lady Gaga. This song shows how genuinely good she is as an artist and how she doesn't need fancy accessories to catch attention. (Although I do miss her meat dress every now and then)

3. Music. - JoJo
- JoJo has been a big part of my childhood with songs like Weak, Too Little Too Late, and Leave (Get Out). I haven't heard from her since, so her latest album came as a shock to me. Most songs of the album are nice, but this was my favorite.

4. ILYSB (Stripped) - LANY 
- This isn't really a new song, but I haven't heard the stripped version of the song before, and now that I have, I can't stop listening to it. I watched the live one before I listened on Spotify, and it's safe to say that LANY never fails. (I wish I could go to Wanderland next year so I could see him perform here... shoutout to anyone who wants to give me free tix hahahahaha hahahaha im serious)

5. Back to Me - Daya
- I loved "Sit Still Look Pretty" so I started a song radio, and this immediately played. I love her voice, and I really think this song is easy to sing in the shower. HAHA yes, I sing every song in my playlist at random times of the day.

6. Window Seat - Thomston ft. Wafia
- I just love the lyrics. Not because I can relate to it, but because it was beautifully written. It's like poetry, with varying interpretations depending on who listens to it. Plus, the melody's really nice too.

7. Wild - JONES
- This is one of those songs that I listened to for the first time, and ended up repeating over and over. I don't know why, but I think it's really catchy.

8. I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - The 1975
- Let me start by saying I LOVE the 1975. This album is ALWAYS in my current playlist. Although I don't love all the songs, I still think the entire album is great. My favorites are Paris, Somebody Else, She's America, and If I Believe You.


These will probably change in a matter of days or weeks, and when it changes completely, I'll write another post! :)